It’s Not the Employee, It’s the Ego That Has to Go

An Inside Look at the Hidden Struggles and Quiet Strength of HR Professionals

By PanelcsCourses.com

In today’s volatile and fast-evolving workplace, Human Resources (HR) personnel are no longer just gatekeepers of hiring and policy enforcement. They are now frontline warriors in managing everything from conflict resolution and employee morale, to anger management, grievance redressal, and talent retention. The once relatively straightforward function of recruiting and supporting staff has now morphed into an emotionally demanding, strategically vital role.

???? The Changing Face of HR

In the past, hiring was the prime function of HR. Firing was a last resort, used only when every other option had been exhausted. Letting go of an employee was considered a major loss—both in financial terms and intellectual capital. Training, onboarding, and knowledge transfer are costly investments, and companies once went to great lengths to retain even their struggling performers.

But today, amid rapid digital transformation, shrinking patience, and rising expectations, the workplace has become a high-stakes environment. Attrition, instant gratification, and performance pressure have redefined HR's responsibilities.

???? The Human in Human Resources

An old CEO of mine once gave a firm reminder that resonates deeply to this day.

“Don’t call them resources. Call them staff, colleagues, team. These are people—not parts of a machine.”

This wasn’t a suggestion. It was a rule. He emphasized that brains—not machines—create value, and by calling employees ‘resources’, we risk dehumanizing the very people who drive innovation and success.

The shift from hardware and software to humanware—the emotional, psychological, and behavioral dimensions of work—is where HR now operates.

One of the most complex tasks HR faces is managing ego. Not performance, not punctuality, not policy. But ego—the invisible, intangible, and deeply personal force that shapes our interactions.

The question “Why should I?” may seem harmless, but it can stem from a deep-rooted sense of entitlement or wounded pride. In some cases, a casual conversation can spark conflict, create distance, or even damage professional relationships.

Dealing with "prima donna" personalities—employees who crave constant validation—adds to the difficulty. Then there are bruised egos waiting in silence, plotting their next confrontation. We’re all self-righteous in our own ways. It’s human nature.

“We’re always right in our minds. That’s why we do what we do.”

I’ve reflected on my own ego too. I can swing between humble and haughty, set off by a word, a gesture, or even silence. That’s the complexity of human emotion.

????? An HR’s Tightrope Walk

Not long ago, during a walk with a colleague and an HR representative, a casual difference of opinion flared into a heated exchange. The HR professional asked my colleague to leave and stayed with me. I expected support, but instead, I was told something that hit harder than any scolding:

“I expected better from you. Your ego got the better of you.”

That moment forced introspection. HR didn’t side with anyone. They recognized where emotion took over and professionalism faltered. It was a masterclass in restraint.

HR professionals are trained to absorb intensity without letting it reflect in their demeanor. While I’ve reacted emotionally, they stay calm. While I spoke bluntly, they measured their words. They carry the weight of everyone’s emotions—yet often aren’t allowed to express their own.

???? Do They Feel Anything at All?

Do HR professionals ever get to be human?

They smile. But is it real or rehearsed?
They listen. But do they get heard?
They empathize. But who empathizes with them?

HR is often expected to be stoic, diplomatic, emotionless. To never react rudely. To never falter. But behind every calm HR face is a person who has probably endured complaints, tantrums, threats, and thankless days—often on repeat.

They’re boxed into a role where professionalism must outweigh personal response. I’ve often envied their ability to stay composed during storms. But now I recognize it for what it is: an incredible strength of character.

Forget payroll. Forget training schedules. One of HR's biggest unspoken responsibilities is ego management. They deal with clashing personalities, bruised pride, and conflicting ambitions—all while keeping the workplace from becoming a battlefield.

When the dust settles after any dispute, people forget how it started. But if HR intervened, you can bet someone will say, “They mishandled it.” Rarely do they get credit. But they always carry the blame.

So here’s the uncomfortable truth: HR is not managing employees. They’re managing egos. And often, the biggest ego in the room isn’t the one yelling—it’s the one sulking in silence.

???? In Praise of the Glorified Few

Some HR professionals are truly exceptional. Not because they memorize policies, but because they read people. They know how to speak, when to stay silent, and how to de-escalate without bruising pride. They are the stabilizers of culture, the secret keepers of chaos, and the silent heroes of the organization.

“The HR isn’t just a part of the system—they are the glue that holds it together.”

And if anyone asks what their real job is?

“It’s not the employee that has to go. It’s the ego.”

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